(Proud mama moment reading me the book I'm featured in!)
I’m in the middle of writing a book.
And let me tell you, writer’s block is the real deal.
You feel so confident on the subject you’re writing about, but you can’t seem to form the words or feel like you know what the hell you’re talking about anymore.
I recently purchased Amanda France’s course on how to become a self-published author because I’m all about that.
Every Monday when I’m not working at the salon, I focus on writing my book and doing her self-published course.
Yesterday I just couldn’t. get it. together.
I wanted to be the laziest person in the world, I didn’t know what to blog about, I didn’t know what to write about in my book… I wanted to lay down and watch 1,000-lb sisters all day (don’t judge me).
Well, after doing my self-published homework, I didn’t feel the fire I typically do.
Could be because it was on creating an audiobook, and the thought of that feels so foreign to me that I can’t energetically get behind it at this point in my journey.
Can you picture me in a studio recording a book I wrote with a producer?
That whole sentence sounds like I just spoke Chinese (I don’t speak Chinese).
It’s now 6:00pm on Monday.
I’m lying on my bed having one of those panic moments where you’re like, maybe if I lay right here and think about everything at the same time it’ll all vanish, and I’ll find the answer to everything (cute, right?)
My husband walks in and asks me what’s going on. I told him I’m nervous about writing my book because what if no one likes it? What if it sucks? What if? What if? What if?
(Insert wonderful pep talk here)
Well, the universe is funny this way…
Did I tell you guys I’m in a book already?
My most favorite teacher of all time, Mr. Pacilio (Mr. P., if you’re reading this, I’m sorry but I’ll never call you Bob) found me on Facebook (after not having it for years because watching people fight online about politics is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me) and told me he was writing a memoir.
Awesome! I can’t wait to read it.
Well, he asked if I would be so kind as to write about my experience in his class.
Um, absolutely. It only changed my life…
So, one day I sat down, and I wrote. And I wrote. And I wrote. And I wrote.
I was nervous because I was like, did I say too much? Did I say too little? Will this be graded on a curve?
I emailed it to him within a few days, and after not having shown my junior year American Literature teacher any of my writing for about 15 years, hearing his praise in what I had written and how it was written made that flicker in my heart go BOOM!
Remember me saying I was having the cutest, tiniest, little meltdown yesterday?
Well, after my husband’s pep talk, I went outside to get the mail.
Because, why not?
What do I see?
MR. PACILIO’S BOOK CAME IN! ("It Was Never About the Books", by Robert Pacilio)
I instantly flipped to my chapter: Aly (She Got Her Groove On.
Oh, I sure did, Mr. P.!
I’m pretty sure I read all seven pages in 15 seconds.
Had I completely forgotten that what I had written to him was all about the confidence I took from his class?
That class and the way he taught gave me so much confidence not only in how to write and comprehend literature, but how to be completely confident in myself as a teenager then and an adult now.
I read through the pages about what he wrote about me, what I wrote about him and my experiences in his class when it came to writing, and it was as if the universe slapped me in the face and was like,
“Are you finished bitching and moaning about not being confident in your writing now?”
So, thank you Mr. Pacilio, for coming to my rescue once again 15 years later and reminding me I’m a damn good writer and with my confidence, I can achieve anything I put my mind to.
PUT IT IN YOUR UNIVERSE:
Identify something you’re not confident in that you wish you were
Write down all the components that make you not feel confident in that area
Reverse the writing and create a positive affirmation for each negative thought you wrote
Re-read all the new positive affirmations you gave yourself
Continue to read them back everyday multiple times a day and watch your confidence boom OR watch the universe present you with gifts allowing your confidence to flourish
